Goddess

Never mind, I don’t want to write about it, as it could get really sad. But the guilt is killing me! What I did was wrong and nothing can make it right, but writing about it might help me to calm down. Still, if someone reads this, they will get angry, they will definitely gossip about me, they will definitely say how can a man like me do nothing and watch without protesting! But still, if I don’t write about it or share the story with someone, my subconscious will destroy me. So, here goes nothing! I, I, I let them take… No, if I am doing it, then let’s tell the full story.

 

It was one fine morning when the day was like one of those moments when not a single soul can get depressed. The weather was nice and cool as yesterday it was raining, so in the scorching heat of summer, we got a sigh of relief. The people on the street were also in a jolly mood.

 

Yet one soul that was lurking in the shadows was so upset, that they were adamant to kill themself.  Why? I didn’t know! I should not have gotten involved in this matter, yet my curiosity bested me. So I asked the same question to the lady and said to her, ‘I could not stand those gloomy eyes on a Sunday morning, would you mind telling me why a beautiful girl like you is so upset?’

 

She was sitting near a dustbin and crying her eyes out. One could think that she was a whore who got dumped by a wealthy man. But that was not the case. Because it is physically not possible for a person to have such a face like a goddess and then fuck someone for money. And thank God that my assumption was true.

 

The girl was not a whore or a sex worker, she was a middle schooler, I guess. I was not sure of her age, as when I asked her, she didn’t answer any of my questions and just started crying louder. So, I thought to ignore her, yet I couldn’t. Something was attracting me, something that I cannot explain even now. Was it a fatherly feeling? I don’t know.

 

Also, there was something mysterious in that girl; it was not clear to me, why she was so beautiful. Her bosoms were small, her height was somewhere between 4’10-4’11, her lips were not Lucious, her body was not mature, and she was a middle schooler. Yet something in her attracted me. It was clear as day that there was something in her face which could make a man sacrifice anything for her smile. Let me give you a more vivid detail so that you can understand why I am writing an essay on her beauty.

 

Her hair was jet black, and her eyes were not brown, blue or green, but it was black. She was neither Caucasian nor Black nor Indian or Asian. I really cannot pinpoint her ethnicity. It was like, this girl had fallen from the moon, like Kaguya, and that could be the only explanation for her unrivalled godly beauty. It was peculiar for a man of my age to write these comments about a little girl, yet I can assure you that the attraction to her beauty was platonic.

 

I was attracted to her like an ant with wings attracted to the source of light. In the end, this only causes their demise. I knew this was never a good idea to stop and try to help a stranger. It can only create trouble in a mundane life. But my life was mundane and she was pure, holy and her holiness was the source of light to me. I was not married and lived in a single 1bhk flat. I wanted to make this girl the goddess, the light of hope in that gloomy room.  

 

It was a better option to contact the police, yet my mind found excuses. In the battle between the mind and heart, of course, the heart will win, because heart is a bitch.  

 

So, she started living with me. I thought she would resist, but to my surprise, it was not very hard to convince her to move in with me. Her clothes were fancy, it was possible that this girl could belong to a very rich family. I tried to talk to her so that she could tell me the address of her home or her parents’ name. Yet, all the effort was in vain, she said nothing.

 

I moved to a new neighbourhood, so no one was suspicious of us. Everyone thought that this girl was my daughter. Some friendly Samaritans even tried to help me and suggested me a good psychiatrist for her. She was not speaking, why? I don’t know. Some also suggested I go on a vacation, it could be a good stress relief. But I declined all their friendly advice.  As it was evident to me, this girl once might have been a free soul, but now caged under a burden.

 

What happened? I don’t know. But it was evident that whenever I brought anything related to her parents, her body shivered, her heartbeat rose, and her beautiful eyes started to whirl like a whirlpool. Some kind of trauma? Maybe. Maybe her parents were killed in front of her eyes, or they could have been violating her. I don’t know, and I didn’t care. But one thing was for certain this girl didn’t want to go back to them.

 

So, at one point in time, it was a fool’s errand to search for her parents. I thought that it wouldn’t be illegal if a maiden stayed with 40-year-old me. She stayed with me for a year, then we were separated! Why? Let me tell you the story.

 

It could be a story about an adult violating a minor, but I wish that was true. It could be a story where an adult killed a minor after raping her, but that’s also far from the truth. The crime I committed was far greater than that. Yes, at some point my monologue might have pointed out that this girl made me fall for her. But no, my love was platonic.

 

She was beautiful and a beauty that someone could admire, but not violet. So, I admired this beauty. Some might think that the girl was a daughter to me. Yet, she was not. Someone with such divine beauty how could inflict herself in such a miniscule bondage? My love transcended any barrier of relation or emotion. Only one thing could explain the feeling I felt in those venerable years, it was pure and untouched by any other emotion. This was a kind of love you feel for the almighty the father of heaven.

 

She was a Goddess so she should have been perfect, right? But no, like all other things that were touched by humans, she became unpure. It happened one morning when she woke up from a long sleep and went to the bathroom. Suddenly this 12-year-old girl came out sobbing. I was at my desk doing my work on the laptop when I lifted my head, that one glance at that day changed everything for me.

 

I could see a girl with white pyjamas and a grey camisole. Her pyjamas were tainted red. It was her impure blood that reminded me, that God doesn’t bleed. Bleeding was unacceptable! She had not only tarnished her pajamas but also her holiness into dark crimson red.  

 

I could see the fear in her eyes, the fear of something unknown happening to her body, and she could do nothing about it. This little girl hugged me tightly like the world was ending and only I could save her from this disaster. She started saying something with her broken voice. Yet, not one word was reaching my ears. It was like I was afar, and nothing could reach me now. It might be shock, anger, or sadness, I cannot describe this feeling. However, one thing was for certain, I was not happy.

 

So, what a man should do to save her goddess? I preserved her. She was crying out of fear when the blood was coming out of her vagina. But after I injected her with sleeping medicine, she stopped crying. But how to stop the bleeding? I didn’t want to see my goddess like this! Thus, I contacted a doctor friend, who was a gynecologist. I told her that my girlfriend was having period issues as she was using an IUD.

 

My friend suggested some drugs; however, the effect was temporary. But I needed a permanent solution. So, I went with the most normal thing to do, I sew her vagina and gave her some more sleeping pills. When she woke, she was crying again. So, I gave her pills again and repeated the same thing for God knows how many times. At one point in time, she stopped crying. My goddess stared at me with blank eyes.

 

I could feel the holiness in her, it was like she evolved from a filthy cocoon to a beautiful butterfly. I could see no emotions in those eyes. She had transcended all human afflictions. Tears were falling from my eyes, I was truly happy.

 

But good things don’t stay for long. One day a neighbor inquired about my daughter and for some reason she got suspicious. Maybe she saw my blissful face and the devil possessed her, she could not tolerate that I was happy, and I attended nirvana.

 

She sounded concerned and asked if I was okay. If any ailment was troubling me. I started laughing, it was a good laughter, I felt good. But she stared at me weirdly, like I had become a maniac! She inquired about my daughter again. That whore! She couldn’t see how happy I was. How a jolly person like me be mentally ill?

 

I knew something was wrong with her and she needed mental support. And who can save a human from the devil than a goddess? So, I welcomed her into my house and asked her to visit my daughter. That bitch started screaming! I knew something was wrong with her, but now I can see that not only she but the whole world was affected by the devil.

 

They took her and locked me in a cell. I don’t know what happened afterwards, as these monsters don’t let me meet her. She was maybe crying again? I don’t know. But I with my own two hands welcomed that filthy bitch to my house. I let those monsters take my goddess away from me, I sacrifice her to the devil. It is a sin that cannot be forgi